Grief is a tricky thing. Our culture trains us often to suppress it. And yet when we do, we discover that it comes back often in unhelpful ways. Elizabeth Kubler – Ross in her work on the stages of grief suggests a process. We discover this process in the lesson from John. When Jesus arrives at Bethany, he enters a scene of grief and loss.
Martha goes out to meet Jesus and Mary stays home mourning. In this passage we hear both of them have a conversation with Jesus.
And both say: “Lord if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” They reflect a common sentiment, don’t they? “If only”. The Psalms are full of crying out to God and complaining to God. The Psalms give voice to “If only”.
The Psalms give space for lament and grief, bargaining, anger and complaint.
In considering Grief as a subject and in particular the scriptures from John and Psalm 116 we are reminded that grief is not an invention of “modern history”, but is as old as spoken language. Perhaps even older? As one of our emotions, grief began when people could share their feelings in a myriad of ways, expressing deep need. Professionals in mental health pick up on the language of the Psalms for consideration of the entire grief process.
Consider Psalm 13: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”Or Psalm 88 says: “O Lord, why do you cast me off? Why do you hide your face from me?” Or Psalm 116: I love the Lord, because he has heard , my voice and my supplications. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.
They are not contradictory as one might feel at first glance, but rather the Psalms are strong enough to notice nuance and give voice to the gradations of grief. This is why you can have grief and praise, anger and joy, mystery and knowing in the same Psalms.
A more modern example is in the prayer that we are using today from the Service of Death and Resurrection from the United Methodist Book of Worship: “Speak to us once more your solemn message of life and of death.” And another fragment, “you know our needs before we ask, and our ignorance in asking.”
Today we consider Lazarus and his family as they “wait upon the Lord”. We can consider our own “waits” or anticipate our “future waits” upon the Lord.
What do we do when life doesn’t work out the way we had hoped? Grief has the power to pull us out of our carefully crafted bubble of self protection. How do we respond when our “bubble” pops? These questions and others might come to mind as we begin our sermon series on Lazarus.
Rev. Dr. Todd D. Anderson