When I was in my Clinical Pastoral Education internship at UNC-Chapel Hill Hillsborough campus, we spent many meetings discussing what it means to actively listen to patients, how to practice empathy and vulnerability, and why developing these skills are crucial for chaplains. Most of our learning came from Brené Brown’s work around vulnerability, empathy, and shame, but the one thing I think about most often, even to this day, came from one of our small group debriefs and discussions.
During one meeting in particular, the four of us were going around and sharing about our week and asking questions of our supervisor. These group meetings were where we could further practice our active listening skills and our empathy and vulnerability skills. As one person was speaking, they paused to gather their thoughts and someone else opened their mouth and took a loud breath in to speak into the space, which caused the original speaker to hesitate and become embarrassed that they paused in the first place. Similar to the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon above, one of my colleagues took the pause as an opportunity to speak into the space instead of waiting for the person to finish their thoughts. This memory sticks out to me because I then, and have since, been able to identify when I do this in my own life- when I’m not actually listening to listen, but instead listening to respond.
Listening to respond can be seen all across our social media through the “Stitch” feature on TikTok, to the News where the people are only looking for an opportunity to share their next rebuttal. Our lives are surrounded by society teaching us to listen to respond instead of listening to listen.
As we continue our sermon series on Embody Hope: The Importance of Listening, I am reminded that embodying hope is embodying listening. The core of embodiment is self-awareness and awareness of the world and people around us. Unless we strive to become more in tune with the world around us, and focus on this skill of listening to listen, we are not embodying hope. This Sunday, we will explore this further as we seek to be a faith community committed to this work of embodying the hope and love of Jesus for all.
Meredith Menius
she/they
Director of Connecting and Discipleship Ministries